lifetoday

Last update Sept 12, 2001

One Day at a Time

I have added updates and they are written on next several pages!
I have included photos as well.
I have been saying that I would update this page and
tell you all what is happening in my Life today..
This page is about me by me for you..
Thank you for your support!!
Read on for my story..

Originally Written March 16,2001

I am blessed today to have many Friends
and sisters and even a daughter on line.
My friends come from all all over the world.
In March, 2000 my husband bought me this computer
for an early Anniversary gift.
I would like to tell you about my life before and after
this cyber-world I now live in most days..
At the time, my life consisted of sitting in a recliner watching
soap operas and TV and VCRS were my big thing then.

I worked from the time I was 16 until April 1998 when I became totally
disabled, by Arthritis, Fibromyalgia, left ventricular dysfunction,
sleep Apnea and Asthma.. After 27 years as a wage earner it hit me.
I had to give in to my limitations and apply for disability.
Oh sure 5 yrs before this I applied, was turned down
and I always went back to work, in supervisory positions
at times. I was a typical career woman.

After dragging myself to work day in and day out and
having terrible attendance on my record,
I could deny it no more.
I was not able to work. I went through 2 yrs of
anxiety and depression and wondered why was I here?
I felt useless.. I am still unable to stand for more than
5 minutes without severe burning hip and back pain.
I have breathing difficulty, due to a bad heart and need
oxygen to sleep along with a CPAP machine to keep my
airway open. The circulation doesn't reach my lungs
from my left Ventricle.. at least not the way it should..

My thyroid was off and I gained a lot of weight,
I had low potassium from the heart medicine
and get really weak. I am always sick and tired.
I was really getting depressed and no one or
nothing seemed to help.

I thought of suicide but I don't believe in it, so I was
actually wishing someone else would do me in.
Besides that my marriage seemed doomed to fail..
I was so negative that I just really
wanted to sleep all day and the kicker was,
I had sleep apnea and insomnia kept me awake
sometimes for days on end...
That hasn't changed much.
I would lie down and try to sleep and when I got
comfortable my muscles would start to twitch
and then I got leg cramps.
So I had to get up and go back to my recliner.
I also found it very difficult to breathe while lying down..
So sitting in my Recliner became my way of life.

I also have a lot of diagnosis mostly related to
Musculo-skelatal and Heart/Lung problems.
I essentially had no life.. Now I have Essential Tremors.
I don't know what they are essential to..
I could live without them. lol
They are not essential to living. :-)
I still have a lot of days where all I want
to do is sleep and I can't..
My arms hurt from typing and I had 2 discs
removed from my neck and now have spurs.
I get migraines and sinus infections.. I have chronic pain
(will cover this later), Scoliosis, Allergies, and COPD..
I sometimes feel like less than human due to all my limitations.

I have to wash dishes in 3 stages.
And there are only 2 of us.
I take real quick showers since it is difficult to stand.
We have a soaking tub in our master bathroom,
however it doesn't work right and I have difficulty
with getting in and out.

I have been wanting to tell my story of how I get through
each day and get it out and on paper and forget it.
I am tired of hearing about it and living it. hehe
So I knew no one else wanted to hear it. :-(
That is why I haven't written much about my life today.
Break time (every hour) LOL

I will add more from time to time as I feel strong enough.
The real point I want to make is that since I got
my computer, my life is worth living.
I no longer feel as useless, maybe some what,
but I know that God has a plan for me and that
He doesn't give me too much at once.
I live my life one day at a time.
I do still live with these problems daily,
but now I have HOPE..

You see I am scheduled to see a Surgeon on May 10th
in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania who will be setting me up for a
Laporascopic Gastric Bypass so I can lose weight
and take the stress off my already weakened
heart muscle and the small vessels around it..

I have hope of being thin again and walking
and doing dishes without pain.
Hope of being able to sleep without waking up
with my O2 mask on my forehead as
I sometimes remove it in my sleep..
Hope that I will be able to sleep without the
fear of not waking up.
I have faith that God is with me and this may
sound like I am afraid to die.
That is not it. I want to live!
Today, I want to LIVE!
Thank you for listening..

Angel Hugs, Lady Bobbi, March 2001
***Update-7/2/01***

As I watched the Montel Williams Show Today
Carnie Wilson talked about
her life changing journey..
She had the Laporascopic Gastric Bypass Surgery
or Ruen-Y Gastric Bypass for Weight loss..
I have a link to her web site below..

The story is on Spotlight Health.
I found her story to be similar to mine..
If you would like to read more about the
Laparoscopic Ruen-Y Gastric Bypass or Carnie's Surgery,
visit her site below..

As you read above I am preparing
to have this same Surgery...
My health has been declining..
For this reason, I have been advised by my
Primary Care Doctor and my Cardiologist
to undergo the surgery..

If I said I wasn't nervous about it..
I would be lying... however
I believe that honesty is the best policy...

I have been keeping busy with my website and
waiting to hear from the insurance..
(Select Blue from Highmark BC/BS of PA)
whether they will give their approval..
My case is in review and it is pretty much a waiting game right now..

***Approval was given*** July 12.2001**

**Update 7/26/01**
I went to see my new Doctor today.
My Primary Care Physician left the practice in June to work at
The Veterams Hospital, so I have a new PCP. I think he will be
helpful to me. He is a Medical Doctor and my previous 3 Drs were
Doctors of Osteopathy.. It has been a few years since I had an
Internist as my Primary Care Physician.
Which I think I need right about now.

I am glad he is on the same page, so to speak, as I am regarding
this whole surgery thing. I have waited since December 2000 to be
schedeuled for the surgery.. Only to have the insurance hold up on
approval.. Then there was the matter of the Surgeon cancelling my
first appointment for May 12, and I was lucky I didn't know they called
to cancel.. I went to the hospital anyway to see the Dr and I was able
give them my insurance information and have them begin the approval process.

A long process it was too. During this time I have been in some severe
pain and have had two epidural steroid injections in my lumbar spine and
several trigger point injections in my left shoulder and neck area.
The Anesthiologist who does my nerve blocks is Dr Nghi.
He is a friend and neighbor of mine as well.
I first met Dr Nghi at Allegheny Valley hospital when I
worked as a unit secretary there in 1984-1987..
He was performing the nerve blocks at that time and still does.
Of course I never had the need to have one back then..
But I had heard that he was a good Dr and I believed that
as I got to know him. I had my second nerve block on Monday.7/23/01
Of course, I have had many of these in the past 16 years or so.
I had my last one prior to this one, also by Dr Nghi, 2 years ago.
I think it must have helped as it had been every year prior to that
and even as often as every 3 months in the past..

I am still having pain and discomfort but I would say today was
better than most in the last month or so..
I was telling you about my Surgery and I got off track..
My mind tends to do that a lot.. I have had a lot on my mind lately.

Please continue to check back for further updates..

I added another page for today's update and from here on out!!
Thank you... Click on the Links button
to visit Carnie Wilson's Website!!

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